Three mice go to Heaven and meet St. Peter at the gate. St. Peter says, "Since you are God's precious creatures, I am authorized to give each of you a wish." One mouse speaks up for the group and says, "All our lives we lived in this building with hardwood floors and were chased all day by this mean cat. We would love it if we could each have a set of roller skates." So St. Peter says, "So it shall be," and each of the mice was let into Heaven with its own set of roller skates.
Then a cat dies and goes to Heaven, and St. Peter again says, "You are God's precious creation, and before you enter I grant you one wish." The cat replies, "Well, I lived in a building with these hardwood floors which were very uncomfortable to sleep on. Could I have a nice big satin pillow?" "So it shall be," St. Peter says, and lets the cat into Heaven with his new pillow.
A week later, Jesus visits the cat. "And how are you enjoying the Heavenly kingdom?" he asks. The cat replies, "Oh, it is wonderful! This mansion is beautiful, my room is immaculate, this pillow is beyond luxurious...but my favorite part about Heaven has to be those meals-on-wheels you keep sending me!"
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.