Three men venture into a forest.

After some time, they become lost, deep within and without sense of direction. While trying fruitlessly to find their way out, they are found! By a group of cannibals. These cannibals take the men back to their tribe, to show their king that they brought dinner.


 


The king, a natural gambler, spoke to the men. He said that he will give them a test. This test has two parts, and the second part will be told only once they have completed the first. If they pass, they will be led out of the forest and made free to go. Else, they will be killed and, after preparation with the best seasonings available, eaten.


 


The king explains that they will be allowed into the forest with two tribespeople. The men are to go in different directions, and gather ten fruits or vegetables and bring them back.


 


The men accept immediately, and off they go into the wild blue yonder.


 


About an hour later, Man #1 comes back. He's proud that he found his items so quickly, and he dumps ten apples on the ground in front of the king. "I'm ready for the second part," he says.


 


The king explains the second part. When each man comes back with his fruits or vegetables, he is to shove all ten up his ass. The kicker: They are to do this without any face, grimace of pain, or reaction.


 


Horrified, Man #1 successfully takes in one whole apple. He almost finishes the second one, but then he winces from the pain. He's killed instantly by a tribe member, and dragged away.


 


Some time passes.


 


Now, Man #2 is on his way back. He stands before the king, and presents his find: Raspberries.


 


The king smiles and explains that he is to insert the raspberries into his ass without any face, grimace, etc. The man, slightly used to this kind of foreplay, obliges. He gets to the ninth raspberry, but then starts laughing uncontrollably. He's of course killed and dragged away.
_____________________________


 


These first two men, they meet in heaven. Man #1 has been watching Man #2 since his own death, so naturally he's confused.


 


Man #1: "Hey, why the hell did you laugh? You were doing so well, and could have gone free!"


 


Man #2: "I know, but were you not watching? I looked up, and in the distance I saw [Man #3] coming back with his guides... he found watermelon!"


 


Edit: Slightly better formatting.