Things Will Rogers Never Said

(but probably wishes he had)


Every teen-ager should get a high school education -- even if they already know everything
Somethings that cost $5 to buy several years ago now costs $10 just to repair
A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell
The outcome of the income depends on the outgo for the upkeep
Here's a new invention -- a solar-powered clothes dryer. It's called a clothes line
Leaders go down in history -- some farther down than others
Any man who laughs at women's clothes has never paid the bill for them
Four-word story of failure: Hired, tired, mired, fired
For every judge operating in an official capacity, there are 100 who are self-appointed
It is when we forget ourselves that we do things that are most likely to be remembered
The more you know, the more you know you ought to know
The argument you just won with your spouse isn't over yet
The law of gravitation is the only law that everybody observes