The Top 14 Questions You'd Rather Not Be Asked

14> "You were, uh, *born* a man, right?"


13> "Are you going to tell me the secret code, or am I going to have to assume you're an alien and blast you?"


12> "You and your wife were never very big on that 'exclusive' thing, right?"


11> "Where were you on the night Ms. Tripp was impregnated?"


10> "Can you help me carry this across the street? It's not very infected, just a little slippery."


9> "...and do you take this man, Orenthal James Simpson, to be your lawfully-wedded husband?"


8> "Daddy, can you tell if this pus is coming from my labia tattoo or my labia piercing?"


7> "Well, if that's not your prostate, what is it?"


6> "When did you decide to invest all your lottery winnings in Pets.com?"


5> "What made you think I was a doctor?"


4> "Weren't you wearing a condom earlier?"


3> "So, boss... does your coffee taste funny this morning?"


2> "Mr. Secretary, did the President tell the Chinese Ambassador we are maintaining a 'preventory' nuclear presence in the China Sea or a 'pre-emptory' nuclear presence?"


1> "Blindfold?"


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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]