There was a Young Farmer...

For those of you that remember the old Mitch Miller song "Sweet Violets" This is a crude take off on it... (p.s. - this is similar to Gizzers 'Sweet Violets' #604 but different, funnier and possibly cruder!)


There was a young farmer who lived on a rock
He liked to count sheep while he fingered his...
Marbles and toys as in days of old yore
And for a companion he had a young...
Maiden whose passion was playing with dolls
She told him she wanted to nuzzle his...

Sweet violets
Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
In sweet violets

The farmer was pleased with all of his luck
She claimed that she'd show him a new way to...
Bring up the children and teach them to knit
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling...
Hay from the stables and filling the rick
He told her he'd let her grab hold of his...
Long middle finger which had a slight rash
To soothe it he jammed it right into her...

Sweet violets
Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
In sweet violets

The farmer then left her and went off to hunt
He said, "While I'm gone take good care of your...
Little pet rabbit which plays in the grass
'Cause when I get home I will grab me some...

Sweet violets
Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
In sweet violets"

The maiden was shocked at his strength and his force
She could tell that he was hung like a...
Hammock which sailors do sleep in a lot
He said from now on I will call you my...
Twinkle-toed lassie. She said,"I'm Regina.
Now don't you get lost in my cavernous...

Sweet violets
Sweeter than the roses
Covered all over from head to toe
In sweet violets