There was a drunk walking down the street.

He walked up this cop and says, "Man, somebody stole my car."

Cop replies, "Well, where was it?"

Drunk holds up a key and says "It was right at the end of this key."

Cop says "I don't know sir, you should go down to the precinct to report it and fill out the paperwork. But before you go, you should probably zip up your fly."

The guy looks down and says, "Oh man, they got my girl, too."

*Heard at the beginning of a Townes Van Zandt song.