The Top 20 Things to Expect During a Second Bush Term

20> After finally winning the war on terror, the administration
turns its sights on "people with disproportionately large heads and
rich, overbearing wives."


19> Now it's Cheney's turn to live in the White House and Bush's
turn to hide in the undisclosed location.


18> After seeing "Team America, World Police," Bush vows to topple
North Korea's puppet regime.


17> "I'd like to express my thanks to Senator Kerry and let him know
Laura found his candidacy inspiring.  She now has a few new
positions of her own."


16> Military outsourced to Honduras to take advantage of cheap labor.


15> Bill O'Reilly joins the administration as Secretary of the
Ladies.


14> Michael Moore named ambassador to Iraq.


13> Bush forced to resign after it is revealed that Cheney's new
heart was grown from a banned stem cell line.


12> Huge friggin' parties this week at the homes of Jay Leno, David
Letterman, Jon Stewart and Conan O'Brien.


11> Smirking and nicknames both back on the "cool" list again.


10> As a reward to our men and women in uniform, the CIA turns up
solid evidence of weapons of mass destruction in Tahiti.


9> The Statue of Liberty is deported to France, from whence she came.


8> Bill Clinton joins Habitat for Humanity and is placed in charge
of nailing things.


7> The voices in George's head tell him the time is right to invade
Canada.


6> Lower taxes for all high-income people, except documentary
filmmakers.


5> Vice President Cheney hardly makes the effort to not move his
lips anymore.


4> "Hey, I just remembered a mistake I made!"


3> Still buzzing from his aircraft carrier appearance, the president
decides to dress up like a fireman and ride in a real firetruck.


2> Bruce Springsteen receives his draft notice.


1> Continual sighs of despair centered in major cities accelerate
global warming.


            
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[   Copyright 2004 by Chris White    ]