The Top 16 Poor Responses to the Question "Does This Make Me Look Fat?"

16> "Not to Stevie Wonder."


15> "Big time! That's why I'm sleeping with your best friend."


14> "Does this tie make me look stupid?"


13> "No way! You look *least* fat in that outfit!"


12> "I guess there's not much point in asking if you mean fat with an 'f' or phat with a 'ph.'"


11> "No hablo ingles."


10> "Yes, but it also makes you look like a pricey hooker, so things balance out."


9> "No, but taking it *off* sure does."


8> "If I answer that question, then the terrorists have won."


7> "Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."


6> "Not if you were travelling at the speed of light."


5> "Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."


4> "Let me jog around to your front and take a look."


3> "No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."


2> "Whoa! A talking couch!!"


1> "May I consult the Iraqi Minister of Information before answering that?"


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[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]