15> Wiping snot on the elevator door at the city hall.14> Throwing out the vitamins and eating the silica gel packs.13> Giggling at The Man's sissy clothes while he's playing golf.12> Drinking milk straight from the carton *way* past the expiration date.11> When someone else complains about the government, saying, Damn right! using our best Isaac Hayes impression.10> Using a really pointy knitting needle.9> Dotting the i's on our income tax payments with frowny faces.8> Flashing our own breasts at the TV during Super Bowl halftime.7> In through the out door, baby!6> Claiming yet another loss from our TopFive business on this year's tax return.5> By taking advantage of the free buffet lunch at the topless club -- even though we're still spending over $100.4> Working from home whenever the cats seem troubled.3> Sticking our head out the car window and laughing maniacally while driving double the posted speed limit in the underground parking garage.2> Eschewing the food pyramid and eating according to the snack rhombus.1> Refusing to be duped into becoming a docile herd of mindless consumers who-- hey, pull over! McDonald's! [ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ] [ Copyright 2004 by Chris White ]
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.