The Top 15 Unforeseen Effects of a Hollywood Writers' Strike

15> New "ER Survivor" hybrid has the docs attempting to cook a wild pig with defibrillator paddles.


14> With no dialogue, Kathy Ireland's career finally takes off.


13> David E. Kelley has time to talk to his friends and family again, and discovers he married Michelle Pfieffer!


12> ABC's new reality show: "The Mole II: The Union-Buster"


11> Sylvester Stallone bumped from "Rambo V" in favor of Marcel Marceau, "the world's most violent mime."


10> A bored Arnold Schwarzenegger starts shooting his neighbors and blowing up his own cars.


9> "Wazzzup" sitcom followed quickly by "Wazzzup: The Movie."


8> A million monkeys typing on a million typewriters begin working on the next Steven Seagal movie.


7> *Both* cops play by the book.


6> "Friends" and "Temptation Island" merge as "Temptation Friends," a reality show in which the other cast members repeatedly offer lines of coke to Matthew Perry.


5> Michael Crichton's Wealth-o-Meter temporarily dips to $3 million per minute.


4> "Okay, the best script for this week's 'Frazier' wins the immunity idol. Survivors get ready... write!"


3> New "Everybody Loves Keanu" is nothing but one "Whoa!" after another.


2> Sympathetic Hollywood deli owners lower the price of a corned beef sandwich from $18.99 to $18.95.


1> "Here's your question for $250,000: How many fingers am I holding up behind my back?"


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[ Copyright 2001 by Chris White ]