15> When at the off-leash dog park, only associates with blue-eyed purebred golden retrievers.
14> Has never been quite the same since he was rejected from art school.
13> Insists the the world banking industry is controlled by a cabal of cats.
12> He laughs at the prospects of a black Labrador winning any medals at the Berlin Dog Show.
11> Every time it passes by, he tries to invade the Poland Spring truck.
10> Constant tail-wagging stops abruptly every Martin Luther King Day.
9> He started burying bones right after your next-door neighbor, Mr. Cohen, disappeared.
8> When he walks by, the French poodles always roll over and surrender.
7> Understood the butterfly ballot perfectly, yet *still* voted for Buchanan.
6> She just annexed your favorite recliner again.
5> The cat's been living in a secret room over the kitchen for the last two years.
4> Insists on being addressed as "Mein Fur-rer" or "Il Puce."
3> Lays waste to the neighbor's front yard with his dreaded "scheisskrieg" attack.
2> His favorite food? Goebbels 'n Bits.
1> Say what you will, but that Chuckwagon always runs on time.
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[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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