14> Spending 50 days at a psychiatrist's office and having himself declared officially insane.
13> Remaining in suspended animation until Ben and J.Lo are married, either to each other or someone else.
12> Finding a few non-journalists who actually give a damn.
11> Attempting to set a new record for bitch-slapping Donald Trump.
10> Spending a week in a room full of cameras without seeking publicity.
9> Free-diving the depths of his own narcissism.
8> Attempting to live for six weeks eating nothing but tidbits combed from the beards of the ZZ Top guys.
7> Getting laid without resorting to magic.
6> Surviving three weeks nestled in Elizabeth Taylor's cleavage.
5> Pulling his head completely out of his ass.
4> Going trick-or-treating in Harlem while dressed as a pointy-headed ghost.
3> Attempting to free-climb Anna Nicole Smith.
2> Holding his breath until his 15 minutes are up.
1> Flying solo, non-stop around the world, suspended from his inflated ego.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2003 by Chris White ]
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