The Top 14 Reasons Americans are Overweight


14> Hey, we get 80 channels of great American TV 24 hours a day -- there's no *time* to exercise!


13> One word: Sprinkles


12> "Girl Scout Cookie Dough" gets better tasting every year.


11> Too worn out after exercising rights to free speech and to bear arms to exercise anything else!


10> Ally McBacklash


9> The colossal failure of "Salad King" drive-thru chain.


8> Calories burned by reading internet humor lists all day long? Zero.


7> Part of our country's defense strategy: Asses too large to be kicked.


6> In: "Must See TV" Out: "Must See One's Own Genitals"


5> Doing it just to spite Richard Simmons.


4> Have to beat those Japanese at *something*.


3> Addition of a diet soda does NOT mean your triple bacon cheeseburger / chili fries combo is a healthy meal.


2> *Someone's* got to provide a global counterbalance to those 1.2 billion Chinese.


1> A balanced American diet: pint of Super Fudge Chunk in the left hand, Jumbo Beef-o-rito in the right.

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