The Pope on Camera

One morning the Pope awoke in his bed chamber in the Vatican. To his surprise, he noticed that he had woken up with a massive erection. Perplexed, he called on his personal physician.'Doctor, this should not be possible,' he said, 'I'm the Pope, and I'm celibate! I haven't had one of these for 30 years!'The doctor's reply was, 'Well, father, this is a natural phenomenon for all men, and it will happen even to you from time to time'.The Pope exclaimed 'But you must do something about this! I have mass in an hour, and this thing isn't going away!'The doctor replied 'You have two options... either I can administer an injection to your penis to make the problem go away, which will hurt and make you feel ill, or you can just quietly go into the toilet over there and relieve yourself.' Fearing the injection, the Pope elects the second option.Unbeknown to him, a paparazzi photographer had sneaked into the Vatican, and just as the Pope reaches that point of no return, up pops the photographer and begins snapping away.The Pope immediately summoned his security guards, who arrested the photographer, and began to quite thoroughly and professionally beat him up. The photographer shouted out, 'Hey, I thought you were a Christian organization! What has happened to your forgiveness?'His anger having passed, the pope agreed with the photographer, and relented, saying 'Yes, my son, you are right, we shall release you. Unfortunately, we cannot return your camera, as we cannot allow the scandal of what is contained on the film to be seen in the outside world.' Never slow to take an opportunity, the photographer replied, 'But this is how I make my living! If you take my camera, I'll lose the money I could have sold the photographs for!'The Pope, feeling guilty, agreed. 'Very well, we will compensate you. How about $100,000?' Ecstatic, the paparazzi agreed, and was soon on his way. The Pope, in time, attended confession. Of course the whole story came out. For his penance, he was ordered to walk three times around St. Peter's, with the offending camera around his neck.Out on his walk, he meets a Japanese tourist who said: 'Ah, so, very nice Japanese camera you got there, Mr. Pope, ah, may I ask how much you pay for it?'Being the Pope, he cannot tell a lie, so he replied, 'I must confess that I paid $100,000 for it.' 'Ah.... so....' said the Japanese gentleman, 'look like someone saw you coming!'