The Pope became very sick, and all the doctors in the world could not find a cure. Finally, in the back of an ancient medical text kept deep in a Vatican library, they found a possible cure: The Pope must have sex with a woman. The Pope was shocked. How could this be? To have sex with a woman? Scandalous! This would ruin his entire reign! But the doctors reminded him: "This is your only chance! You may otherwise die.”
The Pope deeply pondered this predicament. He called in his closest advisers and finally agreed to do it on three conditions:
“First, she must be blind. There is no way that she can see who I am or else the very fabric of The Church will crumble, and God will be very angry.” The advisers agreed and wrote this down.
“Second, she must be deaf. If she were to hear my name or recognize my voice she would be able to tell everyone, and the press would have a field day. I can not take that chance.” Again, the advisers agreed and took notes.
“Third, and finally, she must have really big tits.”
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