The Old Man and the Chef

One day, an old man is out for a walk. His walk happens to take him through the local farmer's market, where a chef had set up a booth to make the freshest seafood he could.

As the old man walked by, the chef pulled a still living fish out of a tank of water and set it on his cutting board. He raised the knife, when the old man stopped him.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Well, I'm making seafood," the chef replied. "I can't exactly cook the food if it's still alive."

"That fish deserves another lease on life. How much are you going to sell the meal for?"

"$12."

"Tell you what, I'll give you $20 if you give me the fish, alive."

Never one to turn down a profit, the chef hands him the fish in a pail of water. The old man nods, then turns and walks to the nearest bridge over water.

"It's a good thing I came by!" the old man said as he tossed the fish off the bridge and into the river.

The next day, the old man is out on his walk again. And once again, he walks through the market at the same time. He passed by the chef, just as he was halfway through butchering a fish.

"You're at it again!?" the old man yelled.

"I've been doing this all day, sir. It's just what a chef does!"

The old man pointed to the bucket. "Gimme the next fish, he's gonna live to see another day. I'll give you $20."

And again, the chef gave him the fish, which the old man tossed into the river. Realizing the business opportunity that had presented itself, the chef hatched a plan: every day at the same time, he would make sure to be working on fish. And sure enough, for weeks, the old man would give him $20 to "save" one fish.

Weeks had gone by, and the chef noted the time, and saw the old man coming. He reached for a fish, but to his shock, he was all out. He quickly glanced around to see what was nearby, but all that was there were some diners with their baby. Panicking, he grabbed the baby out of the stroller and put it on the cutting board.

As the old man got to the chef, his eyes widened. "What is THIS?!?"

Realizing just what he had done, the chef nervously coughed. "W-well, a customer wanted it, and, erm, the customer is always right, so..."

"How much are they paying you to cook them a goddamn baby?!?!"

"Uh... $100?"

The old man pulled out his money clip and took out two crisp $100 bills. "Here, I'll give you $200."

He threw the money down on the table, then picked up the baby, cradling it gently in his arms as he walked away.

"It's a good thing I came by, baby!" the old man said, tossing the baby into the river.