Ole and Sven go to Hell (long)

One day, Satan was walking through Hell, making sure the souls were properly tormented, until he came upon an unusual sight. Sitting next to a lava pool were Ole and Sven, decked out in parkas, hats, boots and gloves.

Confused, Satan walks up to them and asks them why they're dressed for winter in Hell.

Ole says, "Vell yah know, ve're from Minnesota, a land of ice and snow and cold. Ve're just happy to finally be varm for a change."

Satan tries to reply, but can't think of anything, and so walks away scratching his head. Finally he gets an idea. So they want to be warm, do they? He goes over to Hell's thermostat and turns the dial up a few notches. "That'll show those Minnesotans," Satan said with a smile.

The next day, hell was experiencing a heat wave, and the screams of the tormented were even louder. Music to Satan's ears. As he's wandering through on his daily round, he again comes upon Ole and Sven, who are now sitting with their gloves off and parkas unzipped. Satan is flabbergasted, and asks them why they're still wearing their winter gear.

"Vell," Sven says, "ve're still a bit chilly, but dis here heat vave is nice, yah know. Gonna be a good summer in Hell dis year, yah?"

Satan throws up his hands and leaves. I'll show 'em this time, he thinks. He heads back to Hell's thermostat, and rips the cover off of it. After tweaking a couple wires, he cranks the dial as high as it'll go. "That'll fix 'em", he said confidently.

The next day, Hell is blazing. Even Satan himself is sweating waterfalls as he seeks out Ole and Sven to witness their suffering. He finally finds them and is shocked by what he sees. Next to a lava pool, Ole and Sven are wearing jeans and t-shirts, standing next to an open grill and laughing as they drink beers.

"What the hell are you doing??!" Satan cries as he walks up to them.

Ole notices him and says, "Vell, ven da veather gets varn like dis, you gotta have a fish fry. Can't let nice days like dis go to vaste, don'cha know."

"Gahh!" Satan screams as he pulls on his horns and storms away. There's gotta be a way to get them, he thinks, but what? Then he remembers what Ole said about where they were from. Maybe I've been approaching their torment wrong, Satan thinks with a smile. He goes back to Hell's thermostat, and this time, cranks the dial as low as it'll go. I've got them this time, Satan thinks.

The next day, Hell is coated in ice. The lava pools have frozen over, gigantic icicles hang from the ceiling, and the tormented souls are shivering too much to cry in pain. Even the demons are visibly uncomfortable.

Satan skips with glee through Hell, intent on finding the Minnesotans and finally seeing them suffer. He finally finds them, and just stops. Before him, Ole and Sven are back in their winter gear, but they're dancing around and cheering.

Satan finally snaps. "First you love the heat, and now you love the cold?" he said. "What is wrong with you Minnesotans??"

Sven stops cheering long enough to say, "Don'cha know? Hell froze over! Dat means da Vikings von da Superbowl!"