The navy caught a pirate armada.

The admiral of the navy went to interrogate the pirate captain. He noticed that the captain was missing a leg, had a hook on a hand and was wearing an eyepatch. So he asked him the story behind them.
The pirate captain said, "I lost the hand 5 years ago, while fighting with the English army. So I used a hook in its place."
"What about the leg?"
"I lost the leg when a mutiny occured and my first mate fought me. I killed him and all the mutineers were executed, but lost the leg."
"I understand the hook and the leg, but why the eye patch?"
"That happened when I was strolling the deck and inspecting the activities, and a bird shit on my eye."
"You mean that you lost your eye due to bird shit?"
"No, it was my first day with the hook."

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