The lobby pianist at the Waldorf Astoria gets fired...

...so the manager hold auditions for a new pianist. After hearing some mediocre players, a man walks into the room, sits down at the piano, and proceeds to play the most amazing music the manager has ever heard. When the pianist finishes, the manager begins clapping emphatically. "Bravo!" he says. "Is that original music?" "Yes, sir," the pianist replies. "I wrote it myself." "What's it called?" asks the manager. "It's called, 'I Want To Bend You Over The Couch and Hump You Three Ways to Sunday.'" The manager is taken aback by this answer. Shaking his head, he says, "well, do you have any others?" "Sure," says the pianist as he sits back down and again proceeds to play beautiful music. When he finishes, the manager asks, "another original?" "Yes," says the pianist, "it's called 'I Want To Bury My Face In Your Hairy Beaver and Squeeze Your Tits All Night Long.'" The manager cringes again, but is so taken with the man's music, he says "Well, I'm going to give you the job because your music is amazing, but please do not tell any of our patrons the titles of your original pieces." "It's a deal," says the pianist.
The pianist plays a spectacular set on his first night and the audience receives him with great enthusiasm. As the pianist gets up to take a break, he bends over to pick up a piece of music he dropped and the back of his pants rip wide open, and as it turns out, he's not wearing underwear. As he passes by the audience on his way to the bathroom, an old lady leans over and grabs his arm. "Excuse me young man, but do you know your pants are ripped wide open and your hairy scrotum is hanging out for everyone to see?" she asks. "Know it?!" says the pianist, "I wrote it!!!"