This is the story of Jack and his Jewel-Studded Jock.
Jack went to see the Queen one day and the guard yelled "Halt, who goes there?!"
Jack said "It is I. I've come to see the Queen."
The guard said "You can't see the Queen. She's in bed with syphilis."
Jack said "Is that Greek bastard still here?"
So, a thousand and one strides later Jack arrives in the Queen's chambers.
Jack said "Roll over, bitch."
The Queen said "I'll be fucked if I do."
Jack said "You'll be cornholed if you don't."
The Queen said "But what of the children?"
Jack said "Fuck the children."
The Queen said "You'd fuck a child?!"
Jack said "I'd fuck a chicken."
The Queen claimed "You fowl fucker."
And the Queen was displeased with this, so she had Jack thrown to the lions...but Jack being the smart fucker he was, he grabbed the left nut of the right lion and the right nut of the left lion and crashed them together causing a great rupture. And the King heard of this and the King was pleased. So he called for Jack to come fourth, but Jack being the slow fucker he was came fifth and the shit flew at random...but Random being the fast fucker he was ducked and the shit hit the King in the eye and the King cried "OOOOOOHHH shit" and a thousand and one peasants squatted.
The moral of the story is: King's word is law.
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