The Irish Virgin

In a tiny village on the West coast of Ireland lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she died, she went to the village’s only undertaker who also happened to be the local postal clerk (besides owning the only pub, shop and petrol station in the village) to make the proper “final” arrangements.
As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone: "Born a Virgin, Lived as a Virgin, Died a Virgin" and of course it had to be in Gaelic " Rugadh ar Maighdean, bhí cónaí mar Maighdean, a fuair bás Maighdean".
Not long after her meeting with the undertaker, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker/postal clerk went to prepare the tombstone that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone she had bought was too small for the wording that she had chosen. He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid’s final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone. For days, he agonized over the dilemma. Finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.
The virgin's tombstone was completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows:
"Ar ais gan oscailt"….which translates to….
"Returned Unopened"

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.