A guy call his soldier friend to ask him if it is true you eat shit in the army.

This is the soldier's answer:

Well it depends on two things, either you're an officer or you're a grunt.

If you're an officer you're ok. If you're a grunt there's two things.

Either you get sick or you die.

If you get sick you're okay. If you die there's two things.

Either you get incinerated or you get burried.

If you're incinerated you're okay. If you get burried there's two things.

Either you get eaten by the worms or you become compost.

If you get eaten by the worms you're okay. If you become compost theres two things.

Either you become a flower or you become a tree.

If you're a flower you're okay. If you're a tree theres two things.

Either you become writing paper or you become toilet paper.

If you become writing paper you're okay. If you become toilet paper, NOW YOU'RE EATING SHIT!