The Duck Virgin

So back in the great depression there was a farmer and his son.

The farmer was walking around the property and ended up behind the barn. To his horror he caught his son with his dick out jerking it like a madman. The farmer covered his face and walked away. His son came over a while later and the farmer said "Son, you really need to get laid. You're like 16. Here take our prize winning duck into town to see if you can trade a pretty lady for some sexing."

The son agreed and took the duck into town. First, he asked some lady alongside the road if she would sex him up in exchange for his bird. She punched him in the mouth. This happened several times with bodily injury always being the result. Finally, the son staggered into a laudromat a few miles from home and saw a pretty lady doing some laundry.

He asked, "Excuse me miss, would be willing to have sex with me in exchange for this duck?" The duck quacked. The woman was at first angry and about to punch him but realized that times were tough and that was one bitching looking bird. So she agreed and took him into the back room of the laundromat.

The two of them proceeded to have sex and the now dazed son gave her the duck, per the prior agreement. When handed the duck, she hesitated and said "Hey, how about I trade you this duck back and we go have sex again?" The son gasps and flails and takes his bird back and sprints with the woman to bump uglies for a second time.

The woman is happy and sends the son home with her address and phone number. The dazed and foggy son takes his prized waterfowl directly out of the laundromat and is promptly run over by a truck. Luckily, he is ok but the duck is smashed and killed. The driver hops out and says "Gee, I sure am sorry. That seemed like a nice duck. Here is 50 cents to help you buy a new one".

The boy happily accepts the money since it is a huge amount for that period and walks merrily home.

Upon arriving the farmer sees his happy son in the setting dusk and asks him "Well son, how was your day?"


The son smiles enormously and says

"Well dad, I gave a duck for a fuck. Got a fuck for a duck, and got half a buck for a fucked up duck."

Edit: Took off the tl;dr, not needed