A Devon farmer is out walking his land one evening and sees a smartly dressed man crouching down by a stream, about to take a drink.
"ERE, ee dun wanna be doin at - tis full o arse piss and cow shite" says the farmer in his broad west country accent.
"I'm terribly sorry but I've just moved down from London and bought that lovely cottage in the village which I plan to develop", replies the man. "You'll need to speak much slower, I've yet to get to grips with the lingo".
"Oh I'm sorry, if-you-use-two-hands-you-won't-spill-any" replied the farmer helpfully.
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