Holiday Controversy

CONTROVERSY: Should the tree be real or fake?

YUPPIE: Live tree, planted after use

MALE: Fake tree, discarded after use

FEMALE: Grow tree in house, adorned with fruits

REALITY: Fake tree stays up until May, adorned with fur-balls

CONTROVERSY: Should tree lights twinkle or stay constant?

YUPPIE: Each bulb blinks to its own random rhythm

MALE: Bulbs flash logo of football team

FEMALE: Elegant flickering candles

REALITY: Tree bursts into flames, burns house down

CONTROVERSY: Should tree be topped with an angel or a star?

YUPPIE: Gender-neutral angel; no submissive female stereotype

MALE: Blonde angel, kneeling, in a wet T-shirt

FEMALE: Authentic angel explains true meaning of Christmas

REALITY: Hell's Angel steals the tree and the gifts

CONTROVERSY: Do ya fling or hang tinsel?

YUPPIE: Empower each strand w/self-determining skills

MALE: Six large clumps of tinsel on front of tree

FEMALE: Each icicle hangs like strand of delicate artwork

REALITY: More icicles on floor than on tree

CONTROVERSY: Do ya open gifts on Christmas Eve or morning?

YUPPIE: Gifts opened on posted, individual schedules so all

enjoy surprise

MALE: Anytime, just so it doesn't interfere with football

FEMALE: Anytime the entire family is present

REALITY: Doesn't matter, everyone's peeked anyway

CONTROVERSY: Ham or Turkey for Christmas Dinner

YUPPIE: Baked Tofu Balls stuffed with wheat germ

MALE: Anything, as long as there's plenty of both it - and beer

FEMALE: A meal the entire family plans and prepares

REALITY: Chinese carry-out or McDonald's

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