The brother-in law.

Fair warning, I just wrote this song after a "few" many drinks.

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So, there once was a man named John, living in Kansas. He'd lived his life in the "right way," whatever that means. He went to school, never did drugs, never drank underage, always went to church, went on to a good college, and eventually to a great job at a great company.

However, throughout all of his life he had never found "the one." Always, there was a part of him that felt...empty.

One day, he decides - once and for all - to go out into the world and find somebody that could fulfill his life, mending the void inside him. As luck would have it, during a business trip to Beijing, he meets an absolutely gorgeous woman named Mei Chin. She was stunningly beautiful, with a brilliant mind to match. They hit it off immediately, and after months of perfect romance, he pops the question. She says yes, of course.

The wedding goes fabulously, and around the same time, John gets to meet all of Mei's family. He especially got along with her brother, Wu Xiang Chin. Unfortunately, he never did get very good at Chinese, and after repeated difficulty pronouncing Wu Xiang's name, they agree to simply refer to his brother-in-law as Chin, or sometimes "Skinny Chin," as he was so thin that his own family frequently called him "Skinny."

After the honeymoon, he settles down with Mei in the little village she grew up in, with all of her extended family nearby. Life is simply beautiful. He and Mei tended to their little farm, raising chickens and growing vegetables, selling what they did not need to provide the extra income for what luxuries they could afford. They were not wealthy by any means, but it was a happy life.

Until...one fateful day. A group of bandits that had wreaked havoc in the surrounding communities had finally descended on the little village, intent on pillaging what they could to feed their growing numbers. Before long, the bandits arrive at John and Mei's little farm, and demand that they hand over the chickens. Now, while the chickens didn't provide much income, their eggs and occasional meat provided essential nourishment for him and Mei. Set upon on all sides with scimitars and spears, John cowered, unable to risk Mei's life, nor his own, as precious as the chickens were.

Suddenly, there is a yelp from behind the group of bandits. Chin crashes through the mass of men, planting his feet firmly in front of the chicken coop, with arms stretched, clearly defying the bandits and protecting the livelihood of Mei and her husband. Chin glowers at the bandits as they begin to circle him, brandishing their weapons. Witnessing his brother-in-law's spirit, John finally finds his courage and rises, standing next to his kin in solidarity.

Immediately, the bandit's leader growls, "Get out of the way, or we'll cut him down, and you'll be next."

John stared at the leader right in the eyes, and whispered,



"Not by the hair on my skinny Chin kin."