The blue gorilla. (Shaggy dog joke)

The Blue Gorilla. (Warning, very long)

there was once a great photographer, who prided himself on taking a picture of every animal on earth, from the most common bug, to the rarest fish . Well one day, at a big party celebrating the Photographer’s 1,000,000th picture, an old man approached the photographer. “So” he said, “You’ve photographed every animal on earth have you?” “Yep” he said “Every one”. the old man looked at him with doubt. “How about the Purple Gorilla” he said. “Of course”, said the photographer. “The Red Gorilla” asked the old man, “one of my best” said the photographer, with an air of smugness. The old man pondered for a moment “Well, how about the Blue Gorilla” Asked the old man. “Blue Gorilla?” said the photographer, “Theres no such thing as a Blue Gorilla”. “Oh yes there is” said the old man “He lives on a golden throne, in the biggest room, in a huge diamond palace on top the highest mountain in the most dangerous jungle in all the Peru” the old man said “And every photographer who has ever gone looking for him, has never returned”. The photographer thinks for a moment, “Theres is certainly no such thing as a Blue Gorilla, is there?” he thought “But if there is, then I MUST be the first to photograph it!” So that very night, he bought his plane tickets to peru, and by morning, he was off.

He landed at the airport in peru the next morning, and hailed a taxi. once he got in he said to the old taxi driver, “Take me to the Blue Gorilla” “The Blue Gorilla!” said the driver, “I can’t take you there, he’ll rip off my arms and beat me with them! But i can take you to his jungle”. so off they drove to the edge of the jungle. Once they got there the photographer was greeted by an old explorer, the photographer asked “Can you take me to the Blue Gorilla” “The Blue Gorilla!” says the explorer “I can’t take you there, he’ll rip off my legs and force me to run on his treadmill! But i can take you to the base of his mountain. so they walked to the base of the mountain. Once they got there, the photographer was greeted by an old sherpa, the photographer asked “Can you take me to the Blue Gorilla” “The Blue Gorilla!” said the sherpa “I can’t take you to him, he’ll rip off my head and make me play football with it, but I can take you up the mountain”. so they climbed up the mountain. for three days they climbed up the mountain, then four, then five, the mountain got steeper 45, 60, 75, 90, 100 degree angles they climbed, until finally, they made it.

It was just like the old man said, a giant palace made entirely of diamonds. “I can’t believe it!” said the photographer, as he approached the giant diamond door. he grabbed the handle, and heeved the massive door open, he looked inside, and inside was a hallway, and at the end of the hallway, was a massive golden door. he grabbed the handle, and heeved the massive door open, he looked inside, and inside was a hallway, and at the end of the hallway, was a massive steel door. he grabbed the handle, and heeved the massive door open, he looked inside, and inside was a hallway, and at the end of the hallway, was a massive iron door. he grabbed the handle, and heeved the massive door open, he looked inside, and inside was a hallway, and at the end of the hallway, was a massive golden room, and at the end of the room was a massive copper door. he grabbed the handle, and heeved the massive door open, he looked inside, and inside was a hallway, and at the end of the hallway, was a massive stone door. he grabbed the handle, and heeved the massive door open, he looked inside, and inside was a hallway, and at the end of the hallway, was a massive wooden door. he grabbed the handle, and heeved the massive door open, he looked inside, and inside was a hallway, and at the end of the hallway, was a massive bead curtain. he pushed the curtain aside, and behind the curtain, was a big banquet hall, and at the end of the banquet hall, sitting on a massive throne, was a BIG, HARRY, BLUE GORILLA.

“Oh my god” the photographer said “He’s real, there really is a Blue Gorilla!” he took out his camera and started snapping pictures, hundreds of pictures. finally he ran out of film, and started packing his camera away, then he had a thought. “Hey” he said “That Blue Gorilla hasn't moved the entire time i was here, he could be FAKE for all I know, I need to touch him just to be sure”. So he carefully walked up to the throne, leaned over to the Blue Gorilla, reached out his hand, and gently poked his face.

The Blue Gorilla sprang out of his throne and growled “GRRRAWR” said the Blue Gorilla. The photographer screamed! “AHHH, I CAN’T DIE LIKE THIS” so the photographer ran behind the big wooden door and closed it. “Phew” he said, “I’m safe”, suddenly the Blue Gorilla burst through the door! “GRRRRAWWWWR” said the Blue Gorilla.“AHHH, I CAN’T DIE LIKE THIS” so the photographer ran behind the big stone door and closed it. “Phew” he said, “I’m safe”, suddenly the Blue Gorilla burst through the door! “GRRRRAWWWWR” said the Blue Gorilla.“AHHH, I CAN’T DIE LIKE THIS” so the photographer ran behind the big copper door and closed it. “Phew” he said, “I’m safe”, suddenly the Blue Gorilla burst through the door! “GRRRRAWWWWR” said the Blue Gorilla.“AHHH, I CAN’T DIE LIKE THIS” so the photographer ran behind the big iron door and closed it. “Phew” he said, “I’m safe”, suddenly the Blue Gorilla burst through the door! “GRRRRAWWWWR” said the Blue Gorilla.“AHHH, I CAN’T DIE LIKE THIS” so the photographer ran behind the big steel door and closed it. “Phew” he said, “I’m safe”, suddenly the Blue Gorilla burst through the door! “GRRRRAWWWWR” said the Blue Gorilla.“AHHH, I CAN’T DIE LIKE THIS” so the photographer ran behind the big golden door and closed it. “Phew” he said, “I’m safe”, suddenly the Blue Gorilla burst through the door! “GRRRRAWWWWR” said the Blue Gorilla.“AHHH, I CAN’T DIE LIKE THIS” so the photographer ran behind the big diamond door and closed it. “Phew” he said, “I’m safe”, suddenly the Blue Gorilla burst through the door! “GRRRR AWWWW” said the Blue Gorilla.

“NO”, said the photographer, “i’d rather jump off the mountain than be killed by the Blue Gorilla!” so he jumped off the mountain. as he fell he said, “Finally, i’m safe” then he looked up “GRRRR AWWR” said the Blue Gorilla, as he plummeted after the photographer! the photographer landed safely in a haystack at the mountain’s base, he ran and ran, the Blue Gorilla in hot pursuit. Then, in the distance, he saw the taxi driver at the edge of the jungle. “HELP HELP!” he said, “THE BLUE GORILLA IS CHASING ME” he quickly jumped in the back of the taxi, and they sped off. “Phew” he said, “I’m finally safe”. Then suddenly, he heard a tap on his window. “GRRAWR” said the Blue Gorilla, running alongside the taxi. “AAAHHH” said the photographer, as he lept from the taxi, hitting the pavement hard. The photographer started running. He looked around quickly, the Blue Gorilla just seconds behind him. Then, he saw it, a plane! He ran towards the pilot and screamed “HELP HELP, THE BLUE GORILLA IS CHASING ME”. He lept into the plane, and they took off. “Phew” said the Photographer, “I’m finally safe”. then suddenly, he heard a tap on his window. “GRRRAWWWR” said the Blue Gorilla, as he hung from the wing. “AAAHHH” said the photographer, as he lept from the plane. as he fell he thought to himself, “I’m Finally safe, I’d rather splatter than be killed by the Blue Gorilla”. Then he looked up “GRRRAWWWR” said the blue gorilla, as he parachuted from the plane. The photographer landed in a lake, he crawled out of the water and lay on the shore. he heard the Blue Gorilla land safely a few meters from him.

“Thats it” he said “I can’t go on, i'd rather be killed by the Blue Gorilla than keep running like this”. The photographer stood up, he closed his eyes and waited. “GRRRAWWWR” the Blue Gorilla shrieked, as he walked closer to the photographer. Then, the Blue Gorilla walked up to the photographer, leaned in, reached out his big blue finger, carefully touched the photographer’s face and said “Tag, you're it”



My dad told me this joke.