Two weeks before his wedding day the groom-to-be is riding his bike when suddenly a child wanders in front of him. To avoid hitting him he swerves, hits a tree and at the force of impact is thrown forward ramming his penis into the handle bars of the bike.
He's immediately rushed to the hospital and after examining him the doctor says, "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid we are going to have to amputate the appendage."
The man is horrified and exclaims, "But Doctor! I'm going to be married in two weeks to a beautiful woman and I've been saving myself for marriage! Is there anything you can do!?"
"Well... " says the Doctor, "There's this new operation that involves using the trunk of an elephant to as a replacement for the lost body part. It's still controversial and not all of the kinks are worked out of the system but if you're will to try it-"
"I'll do anything!" Interrupts the man.
TWO WEEKS LATER...
The man is sitting next to his mother-in-law eating dinner at the reception when his newly attached elephant trunk reaches up and grabs the baked potato off his mother-in-law's plate.
Embarrassed, the man apologizes, "I'm sorry! Ever since my operation, random things like this have been happening."
His mother-in-law, naturally quite surprised, says "That's okay, you know, I wouldn't mind seeing that again! The marvels of modern medicine are just fascinating to me."
The man says, "Well, I'd love to show you again, but I don't think I can fit another baked potato up my ass!"
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