Jerry walks into work after a three day weekend. He's complaining about his right arm hurting. He's new, and his health insurance hasn't kicked in yet, so he wants to avoid going to the doctor.
His coworker tells him not to worry.. "There's this new machine down at the pharmacy. You bring in a urine sample, pour it in, feed it ten bucks, a bunch of bells and whistles go off, and five minutes later you get a diagnosis and treatment instructions. Give it a shot."
Jerry was skeptical, of course, but what's ten bucks? He decides to give it a shot.
He goes to the pharmacy with his urine sample, pours it in, gives the machine ten bucks, bells and whistles go off, and then a report prints out.
"*You have tennis elbow*. Avoid strenuous activity, ice and elevate the elbow when possible, and drink plenty of fluids. You should be better within two to three weeks."
Jerry was amazed. The machine knew exactly what was wrong and how to fix it. It was too good to be true!
One day, Jerry decided he was going to trick the machine.
He went home and gathered into a single cup tap water, some of his dog's hair, urine from his daughter and wife, and to top it off, he ejaculated into the concoction.
Jerry took this cocktail down to the pharmacy, poured it into the machine, fed it ten bucks, bells and whistles went off, and then a report printed out.
It read:
"*Your tap water is too hard*. Use water softener.
*Your dog has worms*. Worm medication is available in aisle 12.
*Your daughter is on drugs*. Send her to rehab.
*Your wife is pregnant. It is not yours.*. Get a lawyer.
And if you don't stop jerkin' off that tennis elbow's never gonna get better!":
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