Talking dog.

A man was driving through the countryside one day and he passed a nice little cottage and there was a sign outside saying 'Talking dog for sale'

so he pulled into the driveway and knocked on the door. An middle aged man answered.

"I believe you have a talking dog for sale?"

"Yes, come on in, he's just in his basket. Go over and have a word."

So he went over to the dog, it was about 5 years old, an Alsatian.

"How are you, mate?"

"Well not too bad, thank you mate. Thanks for asking" replied the dog. "I'm having a couple of days off, I've had a bit of a traumatic time. You see, I was over in a war zone as a sniffer dog. Bombs going off every day, people shooting at you, rockets whizzing past your head. I've just recently come back after 6 months and I'm just going to lay here in my basket and have some time to myself."

"Well that's only fair. Good on you, enjoy yourself"

So the man goes over to the owner, "How much for your dog then?"

"£5."

"£5? That's bloody cheap for a talking dog!"

"That's dog's a lying bastard, he's never even left Cornwall!"