SPOD Report

SPOD (Stupid People of the Day)


I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology
at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very
upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I
quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there
would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She
calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to
mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in
order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her
daughter in to the ER right away.


*********************************


Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field
decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were
successful in getting it out of the plant and home. When they
took it for a float on the Stilliguamish River, they were quite
surprised by a coast guard helicopter homing in on the emergency
locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no
longer employed here.


********************************


The instructor was demonstrating the wonders of static
electricity to his class at MIT. While holding a plastic rod in
one hand and a wool cloth in the other, he told the class, "You
can see that I get a large charge from rubbing my rod..." That
was pretty much the end of learning for that day.


********************************


I worked for a while at a Walmart store, selling sporting goods.
As an employee of Walmart you are sometimes required to make
storewide pages, e.g., "I have a customer in hardware who needs
assistance at the paint counter." One night a tentative female
voice came over the intercom system with the following message:
"I have a customer by the balls in toys who needs assistance."


*********************************


A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for
speeders. But one day, everyone was under the speed limit, the
officer found the problem: a 10 year old boy was standing on the
side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said "RADAR
TRAP AHEAD." A little more investigative work led the officer to
the boy's accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the
radar trap with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket at his feet,
full of change.


*********************************


A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady.
He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his
cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a
bump. "No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of
smokes," he said to himself. He proceeded to get out his hammer
and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in.
"Here," she said, handing him his pack of cigarettes. "I found
them in the hallway." "Now," she said, "if only I could find my
gerbil."