[Warning: graphic content]
Jim, Tim and Maximilian found a place near a tree to settle down and lay out their stuff. They'd been through a hectic week and they deserved this break, particularly Tim, who had been through the most.
So they pulled out their drinks and lay it on the mat, and set up their radio to play some relaxing music. Jim got out the fruits he brought, and Maximilian carefully took out his lasagna while the three were engaging in small talk. "Beautiful day, right Tim?" said Jim, as Tim murmured a soft yes while frantically searching in his giant bag. Maximilian noticed something was wrong, and asked "What's the matter, Tim?" Tim said, "I made six Cubanos this morning, I see only two." Maximilian responded, "Don't worry, we can manage with two and what we've got here." Tim anxiously said, "No you don't understand, I spent an awful lot of time learning how to make these and spent the whole night yesterday and morning today so I could get these right." Jim: "Tim, you've been through a lot this week, you should've taken some rest instead. Take a seat, no worries we'll share."
"Shut the fuck up," came the blunt response from Tim as he almost dove into his bag desperately trying to find his remaining four Cubanos. A concerned Maximilian commented, "This guy really needs to chill, he's taking this way too seriously." Tim snapped, and he jumped on Maximilian and brutally beat him up, before stepping on his face until he was bleeding profusely and unable to move. A shocked Jim took two steps back before charging at Tim, who tackled him and immediately threw him to the ground and delivered some hard punches to Jim's stomach before smashing a glass bottle on his head, leaving him unconscious. Just as Maximilian recovered, Tim held him to the tree and stabbed him with the broken glass bottle. Maximilian slumped as Tim watched both of them, standing in his bloodied t-shirt and panting heavily.
A bystander nearby saw all of this and said to his friend: "It looks like that guy was a few sandwiches short of a picnic."
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.