So there's an Irish family who live in the countryside (a bit of a long one here)

And the closest town is about a mile away. They make their money from a little bit of farming, but mostly from the milk that their cow produces.

So one day, the father wakes up and goes outside, and sees that the family cow has died. Stricken with grief, he kills himself on the spot. When his wife wakes up, she goes outside, sees her husband and the cow, and hangs herself from the barn rafters, unable to live without her true love.

Their oldest son wakes up a little later, and goes outside, sees his dead parents, and goes down to the river to cry a bit, out of sight of the whole scene of death. While at the river, a female leprechaun jumps out in front of him, and says "so, seems you're having a bad day."

He says, "Yes, that's true."

She says, "Well, I have a deal for you. Fuck me ten times in a row without stopping, and I'll bring both your parents back to life, plus the cow."

"That's great!" Says the lad, "But what happens if I fail?"

"I'll kill you," says she.

"Well, I have nothing to lose," says the lad, and they go about it, but he fails, and she kills him.

The second brother wakes up, sees his parents and the cow, and goes down to the river only to see his dead brother and the leprechaun. She gives him the same offer, and he tries but fails. She kills him too.

Finally, the last, youngest brother wakes up, goes outside, sees the carnage, and goes down to the river to cry. Upon arrival, he sees his brothers and the leprechaun. She gives him the same deal, adding that she will bring both his brothers back to life as well. All he has to do is fuck her 10 times in a row.

"That sounds great" he says, "But what if I fuck you 15 times?"

"Well, says the leprechaun, "I'll change your family's house into a mansion."

"And what about 20?" Says the lad.

"IF you could do that, I'd also throw in piles of gold, you'd be set for life. But sadly, I think it's impossible."

"Oh, it's possible," says the youngest boy, "But I have one worry. What about your own safety?"

"What do you mean?" Says the leprechaun.

"What's to keep you from dying from all that fucking?" Says the boy.

"Why on earth would you think I'd die from that?" Asks the leprechaun.

"Well," says the boy, "the cow did."

You might also enjoy

Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.