So an old man is drinking In a bar with his friends...

He goes up to the bartender and says, "bartender I want to make a bet with you" , "okay what's the bet?" "I bet I could bite my own ass for $200." The bartender agrees and puts $200 on the bar, so the old man takes out his denchers and pinches his ass with them. He goes and has a few drinks with his friends then comes back up to the bar. "Bartender I want to make you another bet." So the bartender, interested because he wants his money back, is curious. "I bet I could lick my own eye!" The bartender once again puts $200 on the bar. The old man then takes out his prostetic eye and licks it. Obviously gleeful he has won another bet, he goes and buys all his friends and himself many many rounds. After an hour or so, the old man wobbles his way back up to the bar slurring and obviously obliterated. The old man says "bartender I want to make you one more bet" all the while trying to keep himself up. The bartender says "okay what do you want now?!". "I bet you all the money we have bet earlier that I could piss in a shotglass put on the opposite side of the bar, from where I'm standing and not miss a single drop!" The bartender knowing this is easy money, puts up the money and sets a shotglass on the bar. The old man proceeds to piss all over the bar, holding himself up on a stool the whole time. The bartender, happy he won his money back, is happy and cleaning up the old man's piss, when he looks up and sees the old man smiling as well. The bartender asks, "why are you so happy? You just lost all the money you had won!" The old man says "yes, but I bet each one of my friends $1000 that I could make you clean up my piss with a smile!"


Not sure if this has already been told, but it always gives me a chuckle.