Sims Gurus is love Sims Gurus is life

I was a grown ass man.
I loved Sims so much.
I had all the base games and overpriced DLC.
I also respected the SimsGurus, for their guruness...
"SimGurus are love." I say "SimGurus are life..."
My dad walks in and calls me a "Singodorf"
I knew he was just jealous of my devotion to the SimGurus.
I called him "Nefarp"
He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep.
I'm crying now and...well I crying, so that sucks...
I then noticed a green light appear...
Its a SimGuru! With a green plumbbob over their head.
The SimGuru give me the typical "Buy Sims 4, its awesome" speech and then says,
"Let me plum you so hard in your plum you plum
I say "Yes." and get on my hands and knees.
So ready bro.
I let the SimGuru plum me and while they plum me, EA is taking money from my bedroom drawer.
The SimGuru screams, "PLUM" as they plum.
This censor plumming sucks.
The SimGuru leaves and I am left sore and broke.
The next day I post a thread saying how much I loved the SimsGuru and EA...
and then it got closed for no plumming reason.
I try to call the SimGuru and it goes straight to voicemail.
SimGuru is love, SimGuru is life...