Shamus & The Hiker

A man is hiking across Ireland. He finds himself at a bar, where the only people inside are the hiker, the bartender, and a lonesome man. After ordering a pint, the hiker sits down next to the man and begins to strike up a conversation.

The man's name, he learns, is Shamus. Shamus tells the hiker, "You see this beautiful bar? I sanded the wood counter-tops myself to be the perfect height, and I made all the tables and chairs from the finest wood around." He looked the hiker dead in the eyes and says, "But they don't call me Shamus the builder, do they?"

He then points to a perfect stone wall build outside the bar. "You see that wall? I built that myself. Laid every brick perfectly so that they would all align, toiled night and day, rain and snow, to finish it." He looks the hiker in the eyes and says, "They don't call me Shamus the stonemason, now do they?"

He then points to a nearby pier out on a lake. "You see that pier over there? I built it by hand. Built every post in so that the pier is perfect. The platform had to be sturdy so that it would not collapse during the winters, and had to be the right height so that the boaters could reach the dock when they landed." He looked the hiker dead in the eyes and adds, "They don't call me Shamus the pier-man, do they?"

"But, you go and fuck ***ONE*** goat..."