Sexual Quickes

The three words most hated by men during sex: ''Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''-----Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?A: 45 lbs.Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?A: 45 minutes-----Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?A: Sexual harassmentQ: What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?A: $3.99 a minute-----One sperm says to the other, ''How far is it to the ovaries?'' The other one says, ''Relax. We just passed the tonsils.''-----Did you hear about the new blonde paint? It's not real bright, but it's cheap, and spreads easy.-----Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?A: The sex is the same, but the dishes pile up.Q: How can you tell if your husband is dead?A: The sex is the same, but you get the remote.-----Q: If the dove is the bird of peace, what is the bird of true love?A: The swallow-----Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?A: Humpme Dumpme-----Q: What do a clitoris, an anniversary and a toilet have in common?A: Men usually miss them.-----Man: ''I'd really like to get into your pants.''Woman: ''No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.''-----Q: What do men and tile floors have in common?A: If you lay them well, you can walk on them for years.-----HIM: ''Why can't I tell when you have an orgasm?''HER: ''Because you're never home when it happens.''-----