Russian Joke: A little girl goes up to her mother...

...and asks her,

"Mommy, why does everyone say my face looks like an ass?"

Her mother replies,

"Oh honey no, you're beautiful! Don't listen to them, just go talk to your father."

So the little girl finds her father and asks him,

"Papa, why does everyone say that my face looks like an ass?"

And her father replies,

"No honey...don't listen to them. You're my beautiful little princess! Why don't you go talk to your grandfather? He's outside digging a well nearby."

So the little girl goes outside and finds the well, which her grandfather is inside of, digging. She leans over the edge and shouts down the well,

"Grandpa! Grandpa!"

And her Grandfather looks up, squints his eyes, and then suddenly shouts in panic,

"DON'T SHIT! DON'T SHIT!!!"