Voodoo Dick

This newlywed guy is going away on a business trip for 3 weeks, and he doesn't want his brand new bride to get lonely and mess around while he's gone, so he stops by the sex toy shop in town. He looks around and sees lots of dildos, sex dolls, vibrators and etc, but nothing that would keep his wife occupied for 3 weeks. So he asks the clerk, who happens to be the store owner, and though at first the clerk says there is nothing there that would keep a person satisfied for that long, after some badgering, he finally pulls a black ebony box with a gold clasp from underneath the counter--all the while assuring the newlywed that it's not for sale, being a family heirloom and of priceless sentimental value. He opens the box, and inside is an apparently normal dildo. The newlywed guy is unimpressed, but the clerk interrupts. "Let me demonstrate," he says. He looks at the box and says "Voodoo Dick--The Door!" and the voodoo dick jumps into the air, floats over to the door, and starts going at the keyhole like crazy, pounding away until the door begins to crack down the center. Finally, the clerk says "Voodoo Dick--The Box!" and the voodoo dick flies back into the box. With some difficulty, the guy convinces the clerk to sell it to him.


When he arrives home, he gives his wife the box and says "Just open it and say, 'voodoo dick, my pussy' if you ever get horny, all right?" So he leaves on his business trip, and by the third day, the wife is getting pretty horny. So she opens the box and says "Voodoo dick, my pussy," thinking the whole thing rather rediculous. After about 15 minutes, she has had several orgasms and is starting to get tired, so she tries to pull the voodoo dick out. Apparently, her husband had forgotten to tell her how to turn it off. So she puts on a dress and starts driving to the hospital. About half way there, the voodoo dick is pumping away at her, and she starts multiple orgasming, and so she swerves a bit over the yellow line. A police officer happens to be behind her, and pulls her over. As the cop stands at the window, she is sweating and her face is blushed, and she's squirming all over as the voodoo dick goes at her. The cop looks at her for a second and says, "Lady, how many drinks have you had tonight?" She says quickly "Officer, I swear I haven't had anything to drink! there's this voodoo dick going at my pussy and I can't make it stop! I'm on the way to the hospital to have it removed!" The officer thinks about it for a second, gives her a smirk and says "Voodoo Dick my ass, lady."