Real estate is going up again. So if you're looking to start the coming millennium in a new home, here are some helpful translations of descriptions found in Real Estate ads:
Sophisticated city living = Next to a noisy bar
Old World Charm - Has some woodwork, needs cleaning
Contemporary feeling = Has no woodwork, needs cleaning.
Close to Lakes = Impossible to park from April to October
Wide open floor plan = Previous owner removed supporting walls.
Security System = Neighbor has a dog.
Need TLC = Major structural damage
Updated kitchen = Sink no longer overflows.
Motivated seller = Has been on the market for 14 years.
Convenient = Located on freeway entrance ramp.
Mint = Someone has spilled mouthwash on the carpet.
Neutral decor = No murals of nudes, or Elvis, but has brown walls.
Move in condition = Front door missing
Cozy = No room larger than 9 x 6
Lower level family room = Ping Pong table over sewer opening
Light open spaces = Many holes in walls and ceiling
Outstanding - Painted purple, and sticks out like a sore thumb.
Many of the jokes are contributions from our users. If you find anything offensive and against our policy please report it here with a link to the page. We will do everything to make this an enjoyable platform for everyone.