Once I saw this Muslim guy on a bridge about to jump.

I went over and said, "Don’t do it!"

He said, "Nobody loves me."

"Allah loves you. Do you believe in Allah?"

He said, "Yes."

"Are you Muslim?" I asked.

He said, "Of course."

"Me, too! Liberal or Conservative?" I asked.

He said, "I'm not Conservative."

I said, "You're not Muslim at all. Die, you heretic!" And I pushed his liberal ass over.

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