On Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my wife mow the lawn...

The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged at the sight, that she came over and shouted at me, “You should be hung!”

I took a drink from my bottle of beer, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened sunglasses and stared directly into the eyes of this nosy ass neighbor and then calmly replied,

“I am. That’s why *she* cuts the grass.”