Old Russian Joke

A father is waiting for his kid to be born in the hospital. He's super nervous, pacing back and forth, cigars in his breast pocket ready to go. After what seems like a several days, a doctor finally walks into the waiting room and asks who's waiting for the baby. The father runs up to the doctor.

Doctor: "You have a baby boy."
Father: "I'm so happy!! I've always wanted a boy! I'm a huge soccer fan and I can't wait to play soccer with my son, go to all his games and watch become a great player!"
Doctor: "I don't know how to tell you this sir, but your son was born without any legs."

The father fights back some tears, but bounces back pretty quickly.

Father: "You know what, that's ok, my wife is a brilliant piano player, and she's always wanted to pass down her love of music to our child. She'll teach him to play beautiful music, we'll go to all his concerts, we'll be so proud of him."

Doctor: "I'm sorry sir, but your son was kind of born without any arms."

Now the father has a much harder time holding back the tears. He takes a minute to collect himself.

Father: "You know, I'm a god fearing man, and I'm sure god had a plan for my son, and I guess that plan has to involve him having a brilliant mind, and he'll solve world problems, and go down in history as one of the great thinkers!"

Doctor: "....sir I don't know quite how to say this, but your son was kind of born without a head."

The father starts to cry and getting really upset.

Father: "Just take me to see my son, I want to see him."

The doctor takes the father down a long hallway, and in this operating room is this gigantic perfect ear.

The father starts sobbing, and through his cries he's speaking to his son,

Father: "Son I'm so sorry this had to happen to you, but I don't want you to worry, we're going to have a great life together, we'll do all the things fathers and sons do."

Then the doctor leans over to the father and says,

Doctor: "You have to speak up, he can't hear well."


There you have it. Good ol' russian humor. 30 dick punches, and then a tasteful nut tap. Hope you enjoyed this episode of Old Russian Joke.