Walks into a Baker's and asks for a "Bum".
The baker looks bewildered, "A 'Bum'?"
"No, I said 'Bum'" says the old man.
"Oh, you mean a 'Bun'!?" says the baker.
"That's what I said, a bum" replies the old man.
So he takes his 'Bum' and finds a Pet Shop and walks in.
"Can I have a Cock-and-Spank-it" he says to the lady serving.
"A WHAT?" she replies, obviously insulted.
"A Cock-and-Spank-it, you have one in the window" he says hurriedly, not sure why she is upset.
"Oh my word!" She says "You mean a Cocker Spaniel".
So he pays for the dog and leaves to find an Ironmonger. Once there he asks the gentleman for a "Fuck it".
To which the gentleman replies "A what?", not believing his ears.
"A Fuck it, you have loads of them over there" pointing.
"Oh you mean a 'Bucket', I was worried there" says the gentleman.
So he leaves the shop with his dog, bun and bucket. Unfortunately he bumps into an old lady and the dog jumps out of his hands and makes a run for it, so he turns to the old lady and says....
"Will you hold my Bum and Fuck it, while I catch my Cock-and-Spank-it?"
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