No Chance Pick Up Lines

Did you fart....Because you are blowing me away!!!

My two favorite letters of the alpabet E Z.

Hey, I lost my underwear, can I see yours?

Hey baby, have you fallen from heaven, because that would explain your face..

Can i buy you a drink? Because you look like an alcoholic.

Do you believe in helping the homeless? (If yes) Take me home with you.

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

Are you wearing a cow suit, or do you always look like a heiffer?

Damn girrl did you get some lipo, your'e looking P H A T!

Are you a frito cause your really corny

How much do you weigh cause your lookin PHAT*

Tell your mom to stop changing lipsticks cause my dick looks like a rainbow

Hey, why go for the best when you can go for the rest?

Mind if I hang out here until its safe back where I farted?

Damn girl, you must have all the flies around you because you're the shit!

Can I take you out to eat .....unless you wanted me to eat you out

Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!

Are you a swimmer cause you have no eyebrows

Was god constipated when he made you cause you smell like a pile of shit

Did it hurt?(what?) when you fell from heaven? It sure looks like it

My love for you is like diareah, I just can`t hold it in.

I just shit in my pants... Can i get in yours?

Wanna be my new vacuum cleaner...mines not sucking or blowing right

Do you want a invitation (to what?) A Party in my pants

Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!

I'll bet you 100 bucks that you couldn't get all your clothes off in 30 seconds.

Your not the prettiest one in here but beauty is only a paper bag away.

Fuck me now or you will die......die bitch die

Blow me you fat ugly hoe

Oh NO! I'm choking! I need mouth-to-mouth Quick!

I wish you were a pig (she asks why?) cause then you'd have six....nipples(wait for slap)

Nice hair,... lets fuck all night long

I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.

I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.

You're ugly but you intrigue me.

Theres a party in my pants and your invited.

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, if it weren't for women, my penis would rust"

Do you like trash, cause I'd love to dump on your chest

Tickle your pussy with a feather? (What?) I said, "Particularily nice weather."

Hi I'm (name) and no i dont plan on being this ugly for the rest of my life.

It's Hammer Time,....bang me biaatttccchhh