Newfoundland Computer Lingo

1. Log on: Make the wood stove hotter
2. Log off: Don't add no more wood
3. Monitor: Keep an eye on that wood stove
4. Download: Getting the firewood off the truck
5. Floppy Disk: What you fet from trying to carry to
much firewood
6. Ram: The thing that splits the firewood
7. Hard Drive: Getting home in the winter
8. Prompt: "Throw another log on the fire"
9. Window: What to shut when it's cold outside
10. Screen: What to shut in fly season
11. Byte: What flies do
12. Bit: What the flies did
13. Mega Byte: What BIG flies do
14. Chip: Munchies when monitoring
15. Micro Chip: What's left after you eat the chips
16. Modem: What you did to the hay fields
17. Dot Matrix: Old Dan Matrixs' wife
18. Lap top: Where kitty sleeps
19. Software: The dumb plastic knives and forks they
give you at the Big R
20. Hardware: Real stainless steel cutlery
21. Mouse: What eats the grain in the barn
22. Main Frame: What holds up the barn
23. Enter: City talk for "Come on in, b'y"
24. Web: The things spiders makes
25. Web Site: The barn or attic
26. Cursor: Someone who swears a lot
27. Search Engine: What you do when the car dies
28. Screen Saver: A repair kit for the torn window screen
29. Home Page: A map you keep in your back pocket just
in case you get lost when picking burries
30. Upgrade: Driving up Barters' Hill
31. Server: The Mrs. at Donovan's who brings the
jigs' dinner
32. Mail Server: The guy at Big R with grade 8 who brings
fish
33. MS-DOS: Some new disease they discovered
34. Sound Card: One of them technological birthday cards
that plays music
35. User: Buddy down your street who keeps coming
over borrowing stuff
36. Browser: What they call you when your eyebrows
grow together
37. Network: When you have to repair your fishin net
38. Internet: Where the fish get caught
39. Netscape: When a fish gets away
40. On-line: When you gets the laundry on the washline
41. Off-line: When the clothespins let go and the
laundry falls on the ground