New Priest

A priest is just about to retire when he meets the priest replacing him, the new priests asks what he should do when taking confessions, as this will be his first day. The former priest gives him a handbook and tells him to use this for the first month or so.

The new priest enters the confession booth and hears a woman's tale about how she witnessed her neighbour underressing. The priest flips through the book and tells her to say 10 Hail Mary's, she agrees and leaves the booth.

Another women enters the booth and tells him that she's been unfaithful to her husband and she feels guilty, he looks through the book and gives her twenty Hail Mary's and to blow out all the candels in the chapel. She agrees and leaves the booth.

A third women enters and tells him that she's given another man a blowjob. He frantically flips through the book but cannot find anything to do with blowjobs. He opens the booth doors and spots an alter boy walking through the corridor. He calls him over and asks "What did Father McDonagh give for blowjobs?" The alter boy replies "$50 and a baseball".