How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?
Four. One to change it, and three to stand around, going, "Dude, I could do that."
How do you piss off a bass player?
Give one of his tuning pegs half a turn, but don't tell him which one.
What do you do with a drummer who sucks?
Take away his sticks and give him a bass.
What do you call a guitar player who broke up with his girlfriend?
Homeless.
How do you get a bass player off your front porch?
Pay him for the pizza.
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