Mom's Dictionary


Amnesia: Condition that enables a woman who has gone through labor to become romantic again.


Dumbwaiter: One who asks if the kids would care to order dessert.


Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.


Feedback: The inevitable result when your baby doesn't fully appreciate the strained carrots.


Full Name: What you call your child when you're mad at him.


Grandparents: The people who think your children are wonderful even though they're sure you're not raising them right.


Hearsay: What toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.


Independent: What we want our children to be as long as they do everything we say.


OW: The first word spoken by children with older siblings.


Puddle: A small body of water that draws other small bodies wearing dry shoes into it.


Show Off: A child who is more talented than yours.


Sterilize: What you do to your first baby's pacifier by blowing on it.


Top Bunk: Where you should never put a child wearing Superman pajamas.

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