Men's Guide to Women's Language

So all you men know how to understand what women are saying!


********* Men's guide to a Woman's language **********


She says English --------- --------


You want You want


We need I want


It's your decision The correct decision should be obvious by now


Do what you want You'll pay for this later


We need to talk I need to complain


Sure...go ahead I don't want you to.


I'm not upset Of course I'm upset, you moron


You're...so manly You need a shave and you sweat a lot.


You're certainly attentive tonight. Is sex all you ever think about?


I'm not emotional! And I'm not I'm on my period overreacting!


Be romantic, turn out the lights. I have flabby thighs.


This kitchen is so inconvenient. I want a new house. I want new curtains and carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...


Hang the picture there No, I mean hang it there!


I heard a noise I noticed you were almost asleep.


Do you love me? I'm going to ask for something expensive.


How much do you love me? I did something today you're really not going to like..


I'll be ready in a minute. Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.


Is my butt fat? Tell me I'm beautiful.


You have to learn to communicate. Just agree with me.


Are you listening to me!? [Too late, your dead.]


Yes No


No No


Maybe No


I'm sorry. You'll be sorry.


Do you like this recipe? It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.


I'm not yelling! Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.


******** In answer to the question "What's wrong?" **********


The same old thing. Nothing.


Nothing. Everything.


Everything. My PMS is acting up.


Nothing, really. It's just that you're such an jerk.


I don't want to talk about it. Go away, I'm still building up evidence against you.